my story, sister-in-law's birth

(I wrote this an hour after everyone left for the hospital... I hope you don't find it too cheesy -

you can say that things were a little surreal, and I had to get everything out of my head!)

Steve and I looked deep into each other's eyes. I was searching for help in there, an answer, something to tell me what to do. Unfortunately, so was he.

His wife Cary stood, bent over Steve, mind at her work, moaning. Steve was on the cell with the midwife's answering service, answering banal questions (“date of birth?” “Due date?”) while Cary insisted, persisted, “I need to push.... I need to push!!” Steve reassured her while I ran to the second-hand couch and threw on an old mattress cover, the closest thing at hand, and tucked it in. “I'm going to deliver this baby in my pants!!” Cary cried – we half carried, half walked her the 8 steps from the stairs to the couch, attempted to settle her as best we could reclining on the couch, and I pulled off her pants.... Cary moaned while Steve reassured her again – we looked down, and there was a small round shape – covered in vernix, the baby's head looked to me like, absurdly, like it was still in the bag of waters (Cary started having contractions at 11:30, her water broke at 12:15, this was about 1:00am, new year's morning, 2009).

Steve was on the phone with their midwife Katherine, who was telling him something about the baby, checking for something. Steve didn't say what she said, or I didn't hear him, but after a brief hesitation, I reached down and felt all around the baby's neck and head, not really knowing what I was feeling or feeling for. I knew I didn't feel a shoulder presentation alongside the head, or a hand lurking there in the way, but all I could think of was the green sheet of paper we got from our midwife before the normal, wondrous, home birth of our soon to be 3 year old; the green sheet with the title along the lines of “Emergency Info if the baby comes before the midwife.” I saw the sheet in my mind, but, unfortunately, not the Info.

A few minutes later, a beautiful push from Cary, and the little one slipped out onto the covered couch and into my hands. Steve was still on the phone with Katherine (the midwife), giving the play-by-play to her and supporting Cary's back and mentality. Without even thinking, I picked up the little one, checked to be sure there was good breathing, and held my hand on the little chest to feel the strong and rapid newborn heartbeat while I lifted the new little life to Cary's waiting arms. A simple piece of advice from Katherine, via Steve: “rub the baby's back” so Cary and I rubbed that nice vernix in while the baby's color became pinker and pinker. I unwrapped the cord from twice around the baby's neck, and even found a knot in it, about 18” away from the belly button.

Now that Katherine was assured of everyone's safety, Steve had moved on to calling 911 and explaining the situation.

Noticing his gender, I accidentally(!) said “he” to Cary – “it's a boy?!” she looked at me in wonder.

Steve was gone, as I sent him for a snot sucker to help some of the little one's snorkling. I wrapped Cary with a big heavy towel with the new one skin to skin on her chest. Steve, back with the bulb syringe, suddenly realized: “is it a boy or a girl?!?” Cary and I looked at each other and smiled - “You tell him!” I said to her. The little guy started sucking his fist so we positioned him for nursing – he didn't take right away, but within a little while was a champion sucker; bringing on the contractions for the placenta to be born.

Even, soon after birth and while being cozy on Cary's chest, he looked around with big newborn eyes, open in wonder at the dim light and new sounds around him.

By this time the EMT team had shown up, along with a policeman. Without an emergency, the situation was like a very surreal party whom strangers decided to crash – the gal (Kate?) and guy from the EMT were so nice, friendly, and helpful. They waited, chatting, until Cary delivered the placenta completely, then clamped (using their pack of green plastic clamps) and I tied with thread the cord, we waited a bit, and then Steve cut it. The policeman saw things were fine, and headed off to take care of more New Year's Eve drunks, leaving with congratulations all around. The EMT team said we were a happy break from the regular crowd with whom they'd been dealing that night!

I examined the placenta (even with having a homebirth, I didn't really get to see mine very well) and wondered at its beautiful tree pattern where the cord connects, and the gaping hole from which new life came.

I took lots of pictures – SO glad I grabbed my camera and new lens on the way out of my house less than an hour before.

I called Jeff, just telling him “listen...” and held the phone to the garbeling of the new nephew. “That's, um, a baby....” from Jeff...”where ARE you?!”

As Cary and little one got settled in, everyone started packing up – the EMTs brought out the stretcher to the front steps (outside! 10 degrees!!), we helped Cary get ready to stand up and make her way to the waiting stretcher and ambulance. I took the little one from Steve, so Steve could help Cary, then made him put on his coat and shoes and get ready before giving him his new son to take into the cold morning of the new year.

The whole thing was so fast, simple, uncomplicated, and Normal! Just like regular birth should be... (perhaps with a more competent attending midwife for safety's sake...!)

Cary's mom, “Grandma” Roskamp to my kids, was there the whole time, quiet and helpful and prayerful in the background. I'm so glad she was there afterwards, when Cary, Steve, and new little one were whisked away to the hospital we both needed each other for a time of crazy cleaning, talking, and all around decompression. I called Jeff back, as I had called him right before the placenta was delivered and needed to help with it, and we talked way too long at 2 in the morning.

Amazingly enough, Steve and Cary's two other children, notorious for their night waking and horrible sleeping, slept through it all, and continue to sleep as I write this, Thursday, the 1st of January, at 4:10am.

Perhaps, now, I can sleep...

(Crazily, I was commenting to Jeff about 6 hours ago how boring we were not to be doing anything New Year's Eve...)

Praise God from whom all Blessings flow.

-ceb

~~

Carsten Thomas
8 lbs, 5 oz
(I guessed between 8 and 9 – pretty good guess!)
21 ½” long

(a couple minutes after Carsten's birth)

(cutting the cord with a scalpel from the EMTs)

(our little party)

(not a normal thing to have on your living room floor - placenta in a bag!)

(Carsten and I 14 hours later)